Its over!

guess it over already.. 

nothing to blog about it. 

time to move on. 

 the line got cut off by itself

and yea, no more~~ T.T

probably its one way or the other .

to give in or to give up..

college is starting in a week.

 semester 4 with two subjects.

be able to do well in semester 3 actually boosts me up to do better in sem 4.

guess thats what im gonna do. 

gonna stay focus on studies and treasure what is in front of me

and give the best i could.

yeah!

hopes are gone.

well. at this very moment. 

my heart just shut,broken and numb . 

there is no more pain but there were emptiness

but then again, i know it is time. 

seeing those pictures do remind me of past memories,

but after that when i see those pictures of him with someone else

instantly got me forget all of it.

 i do not think its worth of it anymore. 

i do not know what "friends" mean to him

its been days since we last talk. as in really talk. 

it felt bad, empty but then i knew, i got to keep going on.

because i know, there are some friends who has not given up on me yet

and always keep giving their support to me

To be really honest, this is the toughest relationship i have ever been

the best-est* suppose to be*

but now turn into a disappointment.

i wish to solve the problem

but i guess, we're just keep running away and yea, probably its best for us

 BEST for ME

somehow, God is also telling me to wait and soon someone will come

i do not know who is it, but i'll just have faith in Him. 

God knows what best for me.AMEN!

wishing list~

see.. i blog again... lols..

 i want so many things . 

but there is only one thing i cant get..

well, nvm la..forget about it already.

 i want to travel around the world. 

i wanna get out of here. 

i aint running away.

i just want to explore the world.

lols... so many things i want.

i want a blackberry phone.. argh!

get me one please..

i need a data plan phone.. lols...

did i mention i  likey cookie monster? i want a real one tooo.. hehe...

cute right??? i know...

numbness~

yeah... im blogging again.. 

i think i will blog till that feeling goes off. 

well, wasn't that good. 

the min i switch on my lappie , move on to fb.

there it was, one notification.

well, he tagged me in one of my picture.

and guess what, he put in a "randomly-put in album"

oh what am i?

a stranger to u?

good then. soon it will be.

moving on... i saw he uploaded an "baby <3 " album where he puts her pictures in it.

at that instant, i was thinking

"when i dated u, did u do that for me?"

no.. not once. i was a damn idiot collecting pictures of me and him.

memories are memories but i don't think its worth it anymore.

my heart was completely numb when i saw those picture.

i did not feel anything wrong or sad. 

 was it a good sign?

probably i just went through so much till i dont feel anything anymore.

the pain was terrible at first but now.... 

i dont think its there anymore.

i cant even tell whether i still love him..

 guess when the gf sees this, she would be happy.

 but its true.. i cant tell anymore. 

probably, to me now, he's just a best friend?

yea... i guess so..

i think moving on isnt a bad thing after all. 

makes u grow stronger.! 

being deceived again~

well.... today.... May 18th....

hmmmm .... wonder what am i suppose to do today..

 oh ya, i was suppose to go out. 

but then i wanted to see someone so much 

till i wasn't in the mood at all.

hmm... i called him in the morning thinking that he might want to go out.

well yeah, a thought is always a thought.

he said its fine with him to meet up at taman jaya.

so i offered to meet up with him and come over to my place for cc.

then, i took the bus to taman jaya.

 and guess what, he called to tell me not to take the bus. 

he asked me to go home and wait. 

so yeah, did as he said

was on the way home, he called and said not coming...

well, disappointed and sad, i just said bye. 

 that was all in my mind.

i was too naive to believe him

probably i have not been seeing him for ages till i eventually took time to go all the way to taman jaya.

i miss him but i was let down miserably.

and guess what, its raining. worst... he wont even come. 

heart torn even more. 

but i dont even know what am i feeling anymore.

im speechless and yea , too naive to trust people.

we have not been talking. probably somehow in me, i just want to see him and talk.

yea... hopes are just hopes. somehow it will be let down. =(

miss you guys!

suddenly i just feel like blogging about my friends in college *close ones*

but i do not know what to say..

so pictures says everything for me.....

some piece of artwork drawn by them

after karoake in Neway

after presentation

in Tappers for lunch


they all do mean alot to me.. am gonna miss u guys.
i love you all.... 

phuket baybeh!

Patong Street at night

Patong Beach

camwhoring in hotel toilet

me and Kalim beach after lunch

great view from Karon viewpoint

Kata Beach from Karon viewpoint

mummy and me

Kalim beach

these are some pictures from Phuket.

dont put ur hopes up!

well, its been months since i last blogged. 

lots to say but i'll cut it short. 

am having my sem break now for a month.

God knows what am i gonna do. 

well, thanks to mummy , she brought me to phuket for holiday.

i enjoyed every single moment there.

when i got there, to my horror, i cant use my phone and there was no line for me.

i thought it suck not to have the phone but turns i felt good without the phone.

there was no calls, no sms, no worries. 

although there were something that i kept thinking, but no point thinking about since it doesn't concern me.

well, when i was phuket, i just love the sea view and sea breeze. 

mum bought alot of stuffs for me...

Patong beach was the best yea. 

will upload the pics later... 

the best thing is, i got to sit on a GREEN tuktuk(which is a form of transport in phuket)

yea, thats about it...

The best-est thing is when i got down from the plane when i got back to Malaysia., switched on my phone

and there it was, ken sms saying that i passed all the subjects.

i was so happy. 

that night, mitch came to stay a night over. 

well, things doesnt really went well after that.

 i do not know what to say.

sometimes, i just feel there is no point of calling each other best friends when one just don't bother about other's feelings.

no point saying there is love, when actions prove a different thing. 

its already tuesday and we have not been really taking as in sharing like usual.

worst thing that happened, that woman confronted me. 

 i just want to keep everything to myself, but instead she asked me to share. 

so fine, i share. 

but when i told her how i really feel, things went really wrong. 

worst part, i told him and he choose not to listen to me and yea, din even bother of calling me back.

i do not know what am i feeling at the moment. 

hurt? sad??disappointed? 

i do not know..

all i know, i just feel like he doesn't need me and i should stay away. 

we're completely strangers. nothing to talk, nothing to share. 

i do not know what to say to him anymore. 

probably, its gonna be the time that God wants me to realise something. 

i do not know what is that. but i believe there is a reason for anything that happen. 

and i do believe there will be someone out there for me.